Nerdgasm
The biggest nerd orgy of the year, E3, the giant video game expo, is happening right now.
So let's see ... what's news?
The price for the Sony Playstation 3 basic system is going to be a kidney. And the high-end system can be yours for just one human baby.
Awesome!
Better yet, the PS3 is scheduled to ship the day after a massive comet destroys all life on this planet.
Sweet!
Nintendo announced recently that their next game console will be named the Nintendo Wii.
Say what?
The original name was Nintendo Revolution. Bitchin'. Turns out this was just the project name, not to be the final product name. So after a year of everyone calling it the Revolution, they change it to Wii.
Wii?!?!?!
You've got to be fucking kidding me!
According to the Nintendo press release, "Wii as in We" reflects togetherness and community.
"Wii will change gaming forever."
"Wii will bring gamers together."
Oh, I get it....
Wait! No really! I get it! In fact, I've got it! The perfect slogan.... Tell me what you think....
Genius no? Can I market the shit out of shit or what?
Bungie/Microsoft is previewing Halo 3, the first game that actually makes me seriously consider shelling out the cash for an XBox 360. While I'm sure the game itself will rock, the Halo 3 trailer for the game sucks. And when I say, it sucks, what I mean is that it blows, it's awful, it's embarrassing and I can't believe that the most well funded game studio in the world would release this dreck.In the Halo 3 Trailer, the Master Chief walks to a ledge and looks over a cliff. That's it. End of movie.
Boooooorrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiinnnnnngggggg.
Right before Microsoft bought Bungie in 2000 to get its grubby little mitts on Halo, I saw the original Halo trailer at MacWorld. It was a work of art. Thrilling Action! Amazing Music! Stunning Vistas! Years later watching it still sends a chill up my spine. (I have a saved copy, I wish I could find a link for you.)
The Halo 3 trailer has none of that. Worse, the resolution sucks, the video quality sucks and the sound quality really, really sucks. It looks and sounds like a bootleg DVD you'd buy on Canal St.
After much digging, I finally found a hi-res Halo 3 trailer with surround sound. It's visually pretty, but still pretty boring. At least it's not technically embarrassing.
I don't understand why they burried this. It makes Halo 3, Windows Media video and Microsoft all look bad. How did the masters of PR commit such a huge PR blunder?
Spore, the new game from Will Wright, designer of The Sims, looks amazing. I can't wait to play it, which is ironic, because I never played any of The Sims.(Don't skip the Flash intro on the Spore site. It's really funny.)
In Spore, you evolve your own species of creature from one-celled organism all the way up to intergalactic civilization.
Did you get that?
Evolve your own species! Conquer the galaxy!
How cool is that?!
Gimmie! Gimmie! I want it now!
(Fuck, I use a lot of exclamation points!)
Games and stuff are cool ... but the biggest reason to tune into the E3 coverage on G4TV is Kevin Pereira.
Not only is the smug little hottie co-hosting ... he's talking about his taint. (No kidding.)
Oh, yeah! Right there! Don't stop!
What a brat. He really needs to be punished.
Now let's see, where are my restraints?
Labels: Halo, hot guys, Nintendo, Playstation 3, Spore, video games, Wii, XBox 360
posted by Dale Sorenson @ 10:32 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
In a way I'm not surprised by the, let's say "lack of imagination" in the Halo 3 preview. Not that I'm an expert on the Halo games by any stretch.
I recently bought a really fun video game that has been a wonderful diversion: Stubbs the Zombie. It's not the most demanding action game. In fact, it's pretty easy to muddle through the story from beginning to end on the easiest difficulty setting. I'm not a Stubbs fan because it's a challenging game; I'm a fan because playing it was like being a participant in a very very funny B movie. I imagine that working for a game company like that one could be a lot of fun, given the playful creative genius that had to be involved.
But I digress. What's relevant about Stubbs is that it was built on top of the famous Halo engine. Listening to some "director's commentary" in the game, I heard that they had been discussing whether they should attempt to use the newer Halo 2 engine, but they had opted not to go that way for various reasons.
That piqued my interest, and next time I went to my local video rental store I saw they had Halo 2 for the XBox. I rented it, curious to see what "great new graphics innovations" the Stubbs developers had been considering. I'd hoped for something flashy and creative and interesting in a sci-fi setting...
What I found was flashy, but not very creative. I considered it to be a recycled sci-fi action shoot 'em up plot and within 2 hours completely gave up out of boredom.
Now I won't claim to be the average "audience" and I know there are people who get off on these sorts of games. Me, I'm a fanatic for plot, for originality. What's the value of technology if you don't marry it to an equal level of creativity? Movies like "Toy Story" amazed the world with what could be done with computer graphics, but they were coupled with a really really well written script.
Halo 3? Not very interested. On the other hand, I'd kill to find another game like Stubbs the Zombie.
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